
We’ve been busy readying ourselves for the impending arrival of our yet-to-be-publicly-named baby girl. Some quick, unordered points of note:
• Emma informs me that we now own yogurt that will expire after the baby comes.
• The baby has belatedly but assuredly turned downward for her final approach (meaning we aren’t locked into a c-section, thankfully). I figure she must be some kind of genius, knowing how to do this in the dark and under water.
• My dad continually refers to the baby as “Olivia,” swearing that he saw some sort of “tell” on my face when he called out guesses during Thanksgiving dinner. He’s wrong, though “Olivia” was a Top 3 contender for a good while. Emma’s sisters refer to the baby as either “Chardonnay” or “Shalissa.” Emma and I still mostly call her “It.”
• Emma and I took a course in infant CPR last night at the local hospital. Emma did great, but was not super keen on the bit where she was supposed to call out, “Help! Help! I need help!” in front of the class. Her mumbled plea for help made me laugh right into the CPR baby-dummy.
• I’ve learned (yet again) that the Internet is the single best/worst source of information imaginable. In trying to help Emma figure out best measures for pain relief during labor, I came across tiny scraps of very helpful information in the midst of heaps and heaps of vitriol spouted by people who are apparently very emotionally invested in other people’s choices (surprise!) It’s not just that you’re insane to get an epidural/intrathecal (or not), but that you’re a bad person to boot. Emma’s leaning toward being a bad, insane person of the pro-modern medicine variety (which I think is a good, sane idea).
• I figured that babies needed changing 2-3 times per day, but someone in the know just informed me that it’s more like 12 times daily. I hope this was some kind of sick joke, but I fear that it wasn’t.
• I don’t know much about what’s to come, but I’m pretty sure that a month or two into this whole parenting thing, I’ll be super sorry for a lot of stuff I said to my mom as a teenager.